about 4 years ago, i found out (by searching the computer history) that he was on those type of site. so did our oldest daughter, she saw the same thing while searching the history for school stuff.

i asked him about it and got upset and said that it was nothing to worry about that all men are visual and not a big deal. i trusted him and let it go. fast forward, about 2 years ago, he developed an addiction to buying tvs (buying and returning). it sparked something in my mind to think that maybe he is dealing with porn addiction as well. our sex life is ok. though i am always willing to be with him. he says his drive is low.

recently though, i have this gut feeling that something is off. he gets upset for any little thing. says he has anger issues. says that he is not happy with his work, not being able to buy a home, not have a garage this and that. i tell him that he is not the only one that feels like that, we all want better, but not all can have it all and that what matters is that we are together as a family (have 4 children) etc… i even told him that i am starting to feel as if he is not happy with me anymore, i get a feeling of regrets. he regrets having 4 children. regrets marrying me. etc… he said to me that it is not so. another reason i have a gut feeling is because he started to kiss me differently, more rough. when i asked him about “when was the last time you saw porn” he got all upset and started to tell me that i have issues (just took the whole question and spun it to me, i’m the one with issues).

i need to confirm if he is watching that stuff online. i cannot be with a man who does that. it is heartbreaking to even think this way. any advise is appreciated. thanks!