Accountability software is meant to record and report your online activity to an accountability partner.  Knowing that someone has access to your website visits, it helps you to stay away from whatever it is that you struggle with.  Saavi Accountability software can be set up to notify your accountability partner when you hit on a site that deals in Gambling, Games, Hate, Sexually Explicit, or Violence.  These are the general categories that will generate an email or text message to your partner.

Saavi software can also alert your accountability partner to certain applications such as file sharing, games or VOIP.  You can also set the software to catch keyword phrases if you have problems with vices such as drinking or drugs.

I installed the software on a laptop computer then configured the standards online.  I also input my cell number and email account for notification, but these will be assigned to your accountability partner.  Now it was time to test the software.

My first test was to go to Google to do a few searches.  My first search was for ‘porn’.  Within a minute I received a text message stating that the named computer had looked at google.com which contained the flagged keyword ‘porn’.  Wow, that was quick!  I also received an email right behind the text message.  To prevent any temptations, I limited the rest of my test to normal usage.

I checked my email, logged into this site, and did some internet searches.  I received 3 more text messages.  The software flagged pornography and porn.  I guess my own website can trigger an alert, but the good thing is you can see the context of which the word was found.  In my alerts, I saw that my email triggered the word and also this website.  Nothing to be concerned about here.

So I went back to Saavi’s online dashboard and looked at the reports.  The reports are top notch!  You see the email alerts and text alerts that were sent.  You can also see what videos were watched and what searches were performed and where.  If your computer has multiple users set up you can see which user watched the videos, did the searching or visited questionable sites.

One thing I must mention is that you need to configure the standards along with your accountability partner.  I found that the MSN homepage has the word ‘porn’ embedded in it somewhere and I would get an alert every time someone in my house hit the MSN homepage.  There is a simple fix to work out these types of bugs on the control panel by either rating the site safe or adding the site to your do not scan list.

In conclusion, I think Saavi Accountability software is very good if you want to be accountable for your internet activity in regards to pornography addiction.  The best part of the software is the instant alerts to your accountability partner to get instant help in time of temptation.  The reporting is simple and provides enough information to create discussions however often you and your partner get together.  The only sticky part of Saavi is working out the bugs like I had to with the MSN homepage, but that is minor all things considered.

I can whole heartily recommend Saavi Accountability Software because it simply works well.  You can purchase Saavi and download it instantly by going to SaaviAccountability.com.  Please mention Battleplan in the promotion code box to help support my website.  Thank you.

I applaud the press that it is finally getting.  Addicts can finally know they are not alone in this fight.  Parents are more aware of the dangers of Pornography and an unfiltered internet connection.  The faith community is finally acknowledging that their own members are involved.  Resources that help diagnose and treat are easier to find.

Pornography addiction is not new, it is just becoming more widespread.  The ease of accessibility had caused it to grow exponentially.  Early in my own addiction, the internet didn’t exist.  I fed my own addiction with printed material and VHS cassettes.  My addiction really increased it’s hold on me when the internet came into existence.

So while the internet has increased the numbers of addicts, It has also brought tons more information and resources for healing as well.  Talk about a double edged sword!

Is the internet all to blame?  No.  This addiction has been around way before the internet.  The internet has just increased the speed at which information is published.  It even changes the culture at a faster rate as well.   It’s like a quote I’ve heard – “A lie is halfway around the world before truth even gets his boots on.”

Truth is finally catching up!

Human trafficking for Pornography or Sex – Is happening here in the United States!

There are times in everyone’s lives when we become weak and easily drawn in by temptation.  Using the H.A.L.T. acronym we can easily identify and counteract, making temptation a little harder to give into.

Hunger – When you are hungry, you turn into a predator looking for something to consume.  Think back to the times when you were so hungry that you stuffed your face with whatever was readily available with no regard to nutritional value or calories.  Whether you raided the fridge or pulled into the fast food drive through, consequences went out the window to satisfy your need.

Anger – Reactions to anger often include giving into temptation.  Indulging in drugs, alcohol, sex, and pornography to dull these feelings are very common.

Loneliness – When you get lonely watch out.  This is my greatest pull of temptation.  Instead of seeking company or finding a noble activity, we usually seek to make ourselves feel ‘better’ by indulging in illicit behavior.

Tired – If you work hard and are tired often, the pull of temptation is great.  It’s almost as if we ‘reward’ ourselves for the hard work by giving into temptation.  We justify our deservedness when our defenses are weak.

Be careful if you are experiencing any of these symptoms because temptation will come knocking.  This reminds me of the scripture when Jesus went to the desert for 40 days of fasting and praying.  The devil came out to the desert to tempt him when he was hungry, lonely, and tired.  The devil took advantage of this time of weakness to put Jesus to the test.

The devil is no dummy.  He waited till Jesus got weary then came to offer him the world all in exchange for a little bit of sin.  Jesus was very hungry, tired and was all by himself praying to the Father in preparation for his ministry.  A weakened Jesus would be much easier to break than a Jesus who was physically and mentally sharp!

The devil turns up the heat on us during times of weakness too!  We need to counteract these times of weakness and go pray for the strength of the Lord!  Eat, seek reconciliation, connect with a friend and get some sleep to, but don’t forget to ask the Lord for help.  He was tested in every way that we are and is familiar with our human frailties.  He is our intermediary with the Father.  Is that not great?!

The main points he makes to back up this statement are.

• It isn’t an illness, it’s a weakness – there is no evidence sex addiction is a valid psychiatric disorder.  It hasn’t been recognized as a bona fide disease by the mental health profession
• Sex addiction is wrongly applied the same characteristics of drug and alcohol addiction. He doesn’t believe there are any ill effects on the body, nor withdrawal symptoms.
• He doesn’t believe that men can get lost to the powers of internet porn.  He says that there is no evidence of harm it does or we would be awash in sex crimes and public sexual displays.  Since addicts can function at a high level there is no evidence of addiction.  Phil Varone of Skid Row never considered himself an addict to sex because he functioned so highly and it didn’t mess up his life.
• Sex addiction is a product of social and religious institutions that portray sexual desire as something destructive and weakening and men must rein it in.  These institutions have labeled sex as evil.  Sex is healthy and good for you; more sex equals healthier, happier people.
• People use the label of sex addiction to shirk responsibility for their actions.  The real reason is the bad choices they make.

Let’s deal with his statements one by one; you may be surprised at my point of view.

Dr Ley says that sex addiction isn’t an illness, it’s a weakness.  First off, I think it is funny that he keeps labeling this as sex addiction while stating there is no such thing.  He should come up with another term to label this weakness so that we won’t get his point of view confused.  On this point I have to agree with him.  Shocking as it may be I don’t think sex addiction is a disease.  Just like I don’t believe that drug and alcohol abuse are diseases.  In my very un-clinical mind a disease is an illness that you contract by either contact with another person or genetically.  You cannot catch alcoholism, drug abuse or sex addiction.  You are not born into them, nor do you have symptoms of them without bringing it on yourself.  I’m not sure where the disease label originated from, but I disagree with it.  You can have the tendency to like alcohol or pornography and drugs, but diving into these doesn’t happen without you first giving into the temptation after making some poor decisions.  We are not robotic in this sense.

Next he goes on to say that sex addiction is wrongly applied the same characteristics as drug and alcohol abuse, mainly because there are no ill effects on the body or withdrawal symptoms.  On this statement I have to disagree.  Too much sex or pornography does indeed have ill effects on the body.  I won’t give you all the details, but you can read my account on how pornography made me sick.  It wasn’t until I gave up porn that I began to recover from the mysterious illness that plagued me.  I’m not certain, but I believe it had something to do with the adrenal system.  How can he say for certain that too much sex is not bad for the body?  At what level is it considered too much?

To say there are no withdrawal symptoms with sex addiction is another unfounded statement.  There were many times that I decided to quit pornography and went through withdrawal.  It consumed me to the point I could not function.  There was no concentration or rest.  The urges would only go away after I would indulge in porn.  Don’t just take my word for it, read the testimonies of other sex/porn addicts.  Read Kastleman’s book on the brain science behind internet pornography use.

Dr Ley does not believe that men can get lost in the power of porn.  The quote by Skid Row’s drummer backs up his statement.  Do all addicts lose their functionality and mess up their lives…of course not.  Some are able to lead (on the outside) normal functioning lives.  They are able to compartmentalize their addiction from the rest of their lives.  Others are not so lucky and lose everything.  Dr Ley fails to realize the internal harm that wreaks havoc on the addict.  The guilt, shame and feelings of worthlessness as a result of the addiction may not always appear on the outside.  The truth is that porn is like the siren calling to you day and night to come in and visit her.  There is a pull that appeals to our sexual natures, our need for escape and the physical feeling of euphoria.  The call is there around every corner for the addict.

He also feels sex has been given a bad rap by social and religious organizations that have deemed sex to be destructive, weakening and evil.  These stigmas on sex then make those who have active sex drives to think something is wrong with them and they are addicts.  Lots of sex is good for you.  In this statement I think he has twisted the view by social and religious organizations.  Free sex and promiscuity are deemed destructive, sex without a boundary is destructive, not sex itself.  Sex within the boundary of a marriage is responsible and healthy.  Lots of sex within a marriage is very healthy.

The last point he makes seems to be the crux of his whole article.  Dr Ley feels that sex addicts use the label to escape responsibility for their actions when it is their choices that have gotten them into trouble.  I say right on!  People like to blame someone or something for their bad behavior.  Blaming sexual addiction and then checking into rehab somehow makes everyone feel OK about it, like it’s not their fault.  I say it is their fault and they are addicted.

I don’t believe being addicted to sex or porn and it being your own fault are exclusive of each other.  You are an addict and it is your fault!  This takes us back to the point where sex addiction is labeled as a disease.  A disease label seems to absolve the afflicted from responsibility.  I think this is the whole hang-up Dr Ley has with using the label Sex Addiction.  He firmly believes (as I do) that the person makes bad decisions and is fully responsible for their own actions.  They are not victims to a disease.  They are just people who succumb to a weakness or temptation that has taken them farther than they imagined they would go.

What do you think?  Please leave your comments below.

Other Posts you may find helpful:

The Signs of Pornography Addiction

Side Effects of Using Porn: Caution

Confessions of a Sex Addict

I want to share with you some of my most favorite videos of 2011.  These videos are well done and provide very useful information regarding pornography usage and addiction to pornography.  I think they are a fair representation of the anti pornography issues.

Becoming an anti-porn activist is a nicely done roundtable discussion that shows what you can do to oppose pornography in your world.  It features some guests that are already activists and they give you some great insight.  Check it out.

Becoming an Anti-Porn Activist from Covenant Eyes on Vimeo.

My next favorite video is a first hand testimony of a man named Jon.  Jon shares his first exposure to pornography, it’s effects that it had on his life, and how he quit using porn.  I could truly relate to much of what Jon relayed via this video.  Very Powerful.  Watch here.

This last video was produced by ex porn actress Shelly Lubben.  Her foundation, ThePinkCross.org helps porn actors and actresses get out of the business and heal the pain left behind.  As a recovering addict, I was shocked at the scenes here.  Watch here.

We tend to indulge in pornography for different reasons, but here are some of the most common:

• Opportunity – Most of us take time off around the holidays and this breaks our normal routines of sleeping and waking.  The opportunity presents itself for some late night or mid day sessions with the pornography.
• Need for escape – The holiday season is fast paced and fun-filled.  Sometimes we need to take a break from it all and escape into the fantasy world.
• Loneliness – For those who have no significant other or family to be with, the intimacy of pornography is what we turn to, to try and make us feel better.

The worst thing is that it doesn’t make us feel better and alleviate the pain or boredom; pornography only compounds our ill feelings and brings us down.  Instead of going on a pornography binge for the holidays, here are a few tips to help you not fall into that trap.

• Keep your normal schedule – Go to bed and wake up close to your regular schedule.  Don’t be seduced by late night movies or internet surfing, especially when everyone else has gone to bed.  Go to bed when the rest of the family does!
• Unplug from the holiday madness – Get away with your spouse for a quiet lunch.  Don’t go to every holiday party you are invited to, causing holiday burn out.  Go for a walk in the park and experience the chilly air, wildlife and solitude.  Go to church and connect with the true meaning of Christmas.
• Don’t spend the holidays alone – Invite friends or family over. Go volunteer somewhere such as a shelter, ring the Salvation Army bell, or at the local food bank.  Get out of the house and go to where people are and you can have human interaction.
• Make sure your internet is guarded by a good accountability software package.

May you have a blessed holiday season filled with true joy, peace and love.

My parents and I were concerned, did I have a disease?  I went to my internist until he exhausted his resources.  He sent me to cardiology, ENT and even infectious disease.  They all found nothing!

This illness was not in my head as a few people had suggested!  I just accepted the fact that I would be sick the rest of my life and there was nothing that could be done.  Boy was I really discouraged.

I only saw relief from my sickness when I quit using porn!  Looking back on the whole sickness period of my life, there was only one constant involved along the way and that was my using porn.

I have researched this to see if I could find any evidence that these two issues were related.  Here is what I have found out.

• Pornography usage is very similar to drug usage in that it causes ‘feel good’ substances to be released in your body.  This fact is one of the biggest reasons why people become addicted.
• Dopamine is one of those chemicals release in your body that is associated with pleasure.  These are release when doing drugs or pornography.
• Too much dopamine released into your body can cause a weakening of the immune system.
• Too much dopamine decreases the amount of serotonin in your body which is critical to sleep cycles.  Lack of sleep wreaks havoc on your immune system.
• A weakened immune system allows you to get sick.

I firmly believed that pornography almost killed me.  I was getting sicker and sicker and no one could diagnose me.

Now I only get sick whenever something is going around.

Life without porn is better!

Those things that I later found came in the form of a Jacques Cousteau book (sad to admit) and then a treasure trove of Playboy magazines in my basement.  At those times, I’m not sure what was more exciting, the pictures or the thrill of doing something wrong and trying not to get caught!

All the guilt eventually caught up with me and I asked my mom about the magazines and if Dad was still and ‘alright’ guy for having them.  Man, was I ever a hypocrite.  After a while, my Dad threw away his stash and guess who scooped up a bunch for his own collection…me of course!

I also remember buying single naked pictures from my friend for a buck a piece.  He would rip them out of his dad’s large collection and sell them to me and my friend.  I remember buying as many as he would sell.  He was very cautious and hesitant and eventually stopped selling them due to getting caught.

My own stash was stored in a few different places over the years.  I never put them under the mattress, that was such an amateur move!  At first, I would hide them under the carpet inside my closet.  It was perfect cause I would move stuff over top and no one would know.  I even cleared out half the closet so I could sit in there with my flashlight and look at my pictures. At other times I would hide my magazines in a bunch of auto show literature.

Those were the early days of my pornography addiction.  That first taste lit a desire within me that really took over me for about 20 years.  Why do I relay this story?  Well, a lot of it has to do with remembering this stuff today while I mowed the lawn.  The other reason is that I want to show you where I have been and to let you know that you are not much different than me.  Another thing – Do all you can to keep your kids away from pornography!  They eventually will come in contact with it, but make it much later in life after they learn about what real love is and how to treat a woman.

Please share your story with us… How did you get exposed to pornography?  What did that do to you?

We all leave the house and trudge through the outside world and bring dirt into the house.  The dirt clings to us and we have to take cautions if we don’t want it inside.  We can easily accomplish this if we wipe our shoes off and don’t wear them into the house.  What about the other dirt we can bring into the house?

The other dirt from the outside world is not of the organic type.  I am talking about the dirt of immortality, impurity, lust, and greed.  These things come into the house through various other sources.  We can unknowingly allow this dirt to enter our house through the radio, television, magazines and internet.  Our kids can bring it home from school or it can enter our homes from visitors.

While we can diligently fight the battle against organic dirt by using a vacuum or broom, but how can we fight against worldly dirt?  There are two ways to battle this, offensively and defensively.

To fight against worldliness offensively means to pour good values into your family.  Set standards for your family and teach your children right from wrong.  Teach children and actively practice yourself values such as modesty, generosity, thankfulness, being content, purity, and honesty.  Many of these values are found in the Bible and through a good Christian upbringing.  If you all are actively learning and practicing these values then it is easier not to get led astray by worldliness.

A good defense against worldliness is to protect your mind and heart from bad influences.  These influences are mentioned above and come mostly in the form of media.  The types of media we consume have a great effect on changing our morality and values.  The constant propaganda of the media can over time get us to buy into the world view.  Churches that once considered homosexuality an abomination are now ordaining homosexual ministers.  They were swayed by the changing morality of the world.

Defensive measures are monitoring the media you and your family read, watch and listen to.  You have to actively measure what you are consuming against your values to see if they fit.  If they don’t pass the test then get rid of them.  Rome didn’t crumble in a day; it took years to topple the empire.  Small compromises will also topple your family’s values and the end result is destruction.

Most everyone enjoys a clean house free from dirt and odor, but the dirt of worldliness is less noticeable and requires both offensive and defensive measures to keep your family safe.  Just like neglecting a little dirt here and there can lead to a filthy house, small compromises let the worldliness get a foothold that will eventually take over your household.  Stay clean.  Stay vigilant