Men: Your Porn Usage is Destroying Your Wife

Wives view of porn

Men, let’s be blunt; when you’re done delving into a world full of instant self-gratification, your wife is crying while scrolling through your Internet browser history. Of course, you’re wondering why your wife is so upset over a picture. After all, it’s not like you grabbed a girl from a bar and took her to a shady motel to enjoy a night full of casual sex. You were masturbating, and simply using your favorite porn site as an instrumental tool in helping you achieve an orgasm. Perhaps if your wife was more interested in satisfying you sexually, you could find the time to set those pictures aside and engage in intimacy with her.

It’s More Than Just a Picture

If you were scrolling through a porn site to find the one video that’s going to get you in the mood, and you stumbled across a video or a picture of your wife pleasuring herself; it wouldn’t sit well with you. It’s likely that you’re going to question the very foundation that your relationship is based on. How could she exploit her body? Better yet, how could you be angry with her for being the visual provider when you have no problem being the visual consumer? After all, it’s just a picture of her. That very justification should blow a hole through your logic. If you knew your wife felt betrayed by you looking at pornography, you shouldn’t do it. Just like if you knew your wife would feel betrayed by you sleeping with another woman; you wouldn’t do it.

You’re Bringing Another Woman Into Your Bed

When your wife is aware of your pornography addiction, she feels as if you have brought another woman into the bed you share as husband and wife. Women need to feel an emotional connection during intercourse, and that’s not easy to accomplish when your wife is inundated with insecurities and thoughts of you fantasizing about the last girl you watched roll around in the nude during your Internet porn quest in the bathroom.

You’re Making Her Feel Ugly

It’s your job to make your wife feel like the sexiest woman in the world. When you’re seeking out images of other naked women, it destroys your wife’s confidence. Humans are competitive by nature, and if your wife feels that you think there’s something better out there than her, she’s going to start to criticize her own body. Even if it’s just a visual thing, and you’re not going bananas over the body of the woman in the porn you’re viewing, it doesn’t matter. Your wife takes it as a direct blow to her self-esteem. When you exchanged vows, you made a commitment to your wife. That commitment involves not lusting after other women. It’s only natural for her to feel as if she’s been cheated on. In all honesty, if you found naked videos of her like we mentioned above, you’d feel as though she cheated on you. It doesn’t matter which end of the spectrum you’re on. If you’re on the porn spectrum at all, you’re wrong.

She Knows You Better

If you think, for one minute, that your angry reaction to your wife’s questions and accusations is justified, you’re mistaken. You feel riddled with guilt. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be reading this. You know that your wife’s heart-broken questions derive from her intuition. It angers you that she knows what you’re thinking and searching for, and you don’t want to face it. The best thing you can do for your porn addiction is to open yourself up, admit it to your wife, offer gut-wrenching honesty, and wear that guilt like a badge. You will never overcome this without allowing yourself to feel the guilt and shame. That guilt or shame will provide you with the motivation you need to show your wife the remorse and apology she deserves while teaching you a valuable lesson. You need to feel how wrong it is, or you’ll never get past it.

Is Incognito mode browsing hiding internet history?

incognito mode private browsing

How does incognito mode or private browsing work and can it really hide internet history?

Most all of the internet browsers made today include privacy features called incognito mode or private browsing.  An internet user simply had to open up a new tab on the internet browser in private or incognito mode.  That tells the internet browser:

  • Do not track my websites visited
  • Do not keep record of any internet cookies
  • Do not record any passwords or autofill information
  • Do not record any history of files downloaded
  • Do not keep any files in the cache (images, etc)

All of these instructions apply only to the new incognito tab that was just opened.  Once that tab is closed, you are back to normal internet browsing.

There are many reasons you might not want the computer to track you internet history.  You might be on a public computer or banking on another PC.  Most of the time however, the person is looking at stuff they don’t want anyone else to know about.  Since you are on this website, you know what I’m talking about.

So, for the person trying to hide his/her internet tracks and those of you who wish to know what they were looking at here is what can be found out.  The private browsing modes will not hide downloaded files.  If you download a movie to watch, the file will not be found in the download history of the browser, but the file will be on your hard drive.  If after downloading that file, you watched it with a video player on your computer, that will be on the video player history.

Incognito mode does not protect your privacy from the websites you visit.  They will still know your IP address, places you’ve been on the internet and everything else they can know about you normally.  

Internet service providers also will know where you have been online.  They have records of all your internet surfing, but I think that someone would need a warrant to seize those records.

Now you are thinking, “I suspect that he/she is watching internet porn, but I cannot prove it.  They have been using that incognito private browsing mode.”   Don’t worry, I will tell you how to get that data!  Before we do that, let’s think first about what you are going to do with this data.  The data you get could possibly change your world.  I mean that!  If you find out your husband not just watching porn, but is watching some very offensive porn, what will you do?  What will you say?

Now that you have decided what you will do with the data you collect, let’s talk about how to get it.  Incognito or private browsing will not leave traces of history on the computer or phone.  So you must intercept that data as it is transferred back and forth from the internet.

If you want to track the internet on PC or Mac computers, I suggest using either Covenant Eyes or Accountable2You.  Both of these softwares will track and report on internet searches and websites visited.  There are 2 differences to note:  Searches in the Mac Safari browser are not picked up by Covenant Eyes, but all others browsers are.  Also, Accountable2You has instant text message notification when a mature site or search is registered.

If you wish to track the internet on someone’s mobile device, I suggest Accountable2You.  It seems to work good on either Android or Apple devices and it will give you text message alerts.  Covenant Eyes seems to have problems capturing data within apps.  For example, someone could download the pinterest app and then search for porn within the app and not trigger a note on the accountability report.

Both of these software programs work fairly similarly as they monitor internet traffic and pass it against their filters and judge it as either good or bad.  They both also log all internet traffic and app usage to a point as noted above.

No matter what angle you are approaching this article from I hope you have found it useful and put a plan into action.

 

Covenant Eyes special 60 free trial

covenant eyes review

Get Covenant Eyes free for 60 days – limited time offer.

Hi all – it’s Christmas season and I have so much to be thankful for. I have a great family, wife, job and friends. What more could a guy ask for? I am so blessed by the Father. He is so good to me even though I don’t deserve it.  Grace is great!

I don’t think grace is cheap.  Cheap grace is thinking you can go on and sin knowing your sins are forgiven.  God forgive us for cheap grace.  It cost him so much and to us it is of little value sometimes…  sorry for the digression there.

 

covenant eyes review

Christmas time is a time of reflection on all the blessings our Lord has given to us.  All good things come from above!  We give gifts at Christmas time as a representation of what God gave to us in the form of his son Jesus.  The gift of eternal life through Jesus!  God loves us so much and doesn’t want us to go to hell.  He is also a God of justice and must punish sin.  Perfect love, perfect justice… that is what He is.  Jesus is the answer to the gap between our sin deserving punishment from his justice and the willingness that he doesn’t want us to go to hell.  Jesus was born sinless and lived sinless and then was sacrificed to pay the price for sinful man.  He is our atoning sacrifice to satisfy the justice God requires in punishing sin.  We need to accept that gift from God and we are then counted as righteous in the eye of God!  How great is that!!

Christmas presents are given as a symbol of the gift God gave to us in the form of His son Jesus.  When giving gifts this year, tech gifts are among the hottest things to give.  Protect your loved ones from internet filth by installing Covenant Eyes software on these gifts.  You want to bless them, not give them the opportunity to stumble.

I have a special relationship with Covenant Eyes, Inc.  They are the developers of accountability and filtering software for the internet.  This software is installed on any computer, phone or tablet and it will watch or filter the internet sites that are visited by the user.  Ron Dehaas the founder of Covenant Eyes, is a good christian family man who has a passion for protecting youth, family and marriages from the devastation of internet pornography.

If you click on this link and sign up for Covenant Eyes you will:

  • Get a limited time 60 days free trail (until December 19, 2014)
  • Support this ministry to fight against porn and help those ensnared in it (they send me a commission for signups)
  • Most importantly! – protect your loved ones from influence of internet p0rn

Once this offer is gone, you still will receive 30 days for free!  It’s Covenant Eyes belief that every man & woman should make a covenant with their eyes to not look upon the opposite sex with lust!

Join the thousands of other families who rely upon Covenant Eyes to keep their families free from the influence of our porn saturated culture!

Try Covenant Eyes – Click Here

Merry Christmas

Brian

Porn Industry Secrets

former porn actress shelley lubben

Porn Industry Secrets

 

In this hard hitting video, Shelley Lubben bears her soul and also reveals the secrets inside the porn industry.

 

Shelly Lubben is a former porn actress who works to save girls from the ravages of the porn industry.  She works through her own organization – Pink Cross foundation.  In this video she tells all the evils inside the porn industry and poses some probing questions we should be asking ourselves.

  • Porn actresses are recruited on social media sites such as Facebook, Tunblr, Twitter, Instagram, etc.
  • Girls are lured to California for ‘modeling’ interviews and then raped, filmed and blackmailed to perform whatever is asked by the producers.
  • STDs are rampant in the porn industry
  • Drugs, alcohol, abortions, self-hatred are normal parts of the actresses lives
  • Almost all porn actresses have suffered from sexual abuse earlier in life

  • When you consume porn, whether you pay for it or not, you are supporting pornographers and the treatment of these actresses.
  • Will you still feel the same when you masturbate to porn when you know these things?
  • Is it right for you to get off on someone else’s abuse?
  • Did you realize many times women cry uncontrollable after a performance because they are ashamed, unloved and used?

Stats on Kids and porn

Here are some stats that will blow your mind.  They should also make you pause and think about your own family.

– 90% of boys have viewed internet pornography

– 70% of girls have viewed internet pornography

– 71% of kids say they hide their internet activity

– 56% of divorce cases say a major contributing factor is one spouse’s continual use of internet pornography

What are you doing to keep internet porn away from your kids and spouse?  Do you want an affordable internet filter and accountability software?

Finding your WHY to make lasting lifestyle changes

Finding your Why will lead to lasting lifestyle changes

 

Whenever you want to make a change in your life, after deciding what that change is and developing a plan, you need to work on your Why. Setting goals to make positive changes in your life is important. A goal is where you want to be at a specific point in time in the future. Goals need to be backed up by a good plan that measures your success so that you can make adjustments along the way.

 

Having a goal and a plan to get there is not enough. You still need to think about your Why. Your Why is the reason(s) for wanting to achieve the goal. Your Why is the underlying purpose behind your goal and is what is driving you to make it. When times get tough your Why will remind you of the reasons and will pull you through. Your Why is tied to a deep seated belief or emotion at your core or someone you really care about.

Lasting lifestyle change WHY

 

Let’s look at an example. I want to lose weight. Great, but let’s narrow that down and be specific. I want to lose 25 pounds by June 15th. That means I’ll have to lose approximately 4.25 pounds per month or just over a pound per week for the next six months. Perfect. What is your Why?

 

The reason I want to loose weight is to have my clothes fit better and feel healthier. Good enough? Maybe. Can we dig a bit deeper? Why do I want to have my clothes fit better? I don’t want to go shopping for bigger clothes. Why? Because I don’t want to admin to my wife that my clothes don’t fit. I already don’t feel good about myself and further embarrassment won’t help. If I can lose weight I will avoid the embarrassment of asking for new clothes plus I will feel better about my self and be more confident.

 

Let’s drill down on feeling healthier. Why do I want to feel healthier? Well, my kids can run circles around me. I am sluggish and slow. If I get healthier I can be more active with them. If I am healthier, I won’t fall into obesity and heart disease like the rest of my family is experiencing. Their quality of life is bad and I don’t want to live like that.

 

Do you see what we’ve done? We kept asking Why until we got to the core of the reasons. Most reasons can be drilled down until you strike that nerve! You need to discover your Why or Whys, otherwise you won’t feel like pulling out of the dip that comes when you’re ready to give up.

 

Let’s look at a Why as it relates to breaking free from addiction to pornography. I want to be free from pornography because it will ruin my marriage. If my marriage is ruined, I will be lonely and will miss my kids deeply. I can’t imagine being that alone and having my heart ache because I chose looking at naked women on the internet over my kids and wife. I don’t want to break her heart and my kids hearts by having to leave them.

 

I also want to be free from pornography because it angers God. It makes me feel guilty and destroys our relationship. In 1 Corinthians 6:9 got says adulterers won’t inherit the kingdom. I certainly don’t want to risk my salvation over some temporary fleshly pleasures.

 

Every time I get tempted to look at pornography, I stop and ask myself; Is this ten minutes of pleasure really worth destroying my family and having my heart and my kids hearts broken? Is it really wise to exchange some video of a woman I don’t know for an eternity away from God? Can I hurt the feelings of a God who has given me so much?

 

When I see the sadness on my children’s faces and when I feel the loneliness of living without my family, I know the my Why. When I feel the shame and guilt and see the disappointment of my heavenly father or picture myself at the gates of heaven being turned away, I know my Why.

 

Your Why will hit the core of your beliefs, the things you love and cherish, and your self worth. Your Why will ring true with who you are and who you want to be. When you feel that emotion associated with your why, you know you have found it.

 

Now go and find your Whys for the things your want to change in your life!