Men, let’s be blunt; when you’re done delving into a world full of instant self-gratification, your wife is crying while scrolling through your Internet browser history. Of course, you’re wondering why your wife is so upset over a picture. After all, it’s not like you grabbed a girl from a bar and took her to a shady motel to enjoy a night full of casual sex. You were masturbating, and simply using your favorite porn site as an instrumental tool in helping you achieve an orgasm. Perhaps if your wife was more interested in satisfying you sexually, you could find the time to set those pictures aside and engage in intimacy with her.
It’s More Than Just a Picture
If you were scrolling through a porn site to find the one video that’s going to get you in the mood, and you stumbled across a video or a picture of your wife pleasuring herself; it wouldn’t sit well with you. It’s likely that you’re going to question the very foundation that your relationship is based on. How could she exploit her body? Better yet, how could you be angry with her for being the visual provider when you have no problem being the visual consumer? After all, it’s just a picture of her. That very justification should blow a hole through your logic. If you knew your wife felt betrayed by you looking at pornography, you shouldn’t do it. Just like if you knew your wife would feel betrayed by you sleeping with another woman; you wouldn’t do it.
You’re Bringing Another Woman Into Your Bed
When your wife is aware of your pornography addiction, she feels as if you have brought another woman into the bed you share as husband and wife. Women need to feel an emotional connection during intercourse, and that’s not easy to accomplish when your wife is inundated with insecurities and thoughts of you fantasizing about the last girl you watched roll around in the nude during your Internet porn quest in the bathroom.
You’re Making Her Feel Ugly
It’s your job to make your wife feel like the sexiest woman in the world. When you’re seeking out images of other naked women, it destroys your wife’s confidence. Humans are competitive by nature, and if your wife feels that you think there’s something better out there than her, she’s going to start to criticize her own body. Even if it’s just a visual thing, and you’re not going bananas over the body of the woman in the porn you’re viewing, it doesn’t matter. Your wife takes it as a direct blow to her self-esteem. When you exchanged vows, you made a commitment to your wife. That commitment involves not lusting after other women. It’s only natural for her to feel as if she’s been cheated on. In all honesty, if you found naked videos of her like we mentioned above, you’d feel as though she cheated on you. It doesn’t matter which end of the spectrum you’re on. If you’re on the porn spectrum at all, you’re wrong.
She Knows You Better
If you think, for one minute, that your angry reaction to your wife’s questions and accusations is justified, you’re mistaken. You feel riddled with guilt. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be reading this. You know that your wife’s heart-broken questions derive from her intuition. It angers you that she knows what you’re thinking and searching for, and you don’t want to face it. The best thing you can do for your porn addiction is to open yourself up, admit it to your wife, offer gut-wrenching honesty, and wear that guilt like a badge. You will never overcome this without allowing yourself to feel the guilt and shame. That guilt or shame will provide you with the motivation you need to show your wife the remorse and apology she deserves while teaching you a valuable lesson. You need to feel how wrong it is, or you’ll never get past it.