I am totally Addicted to Porn

addicted to porn

Reader Question; I am totally addicted to Porn. How do I Defeat triggers that lead me to watch porn?

 

I now feel like I can’t stop. I am totally addicted. I try to stop but my triggers for watching porn are too strong. I like to watch movies and surf the internet. Every time I see something that’s sexual, it triggers me to watch porn. I try to stop but at that moment my addiction becomes too strong. I am trying to overcome my triggers. I really enjoy watching movies so I can’t give that up, but I have a weakness. I have been able to overcome having sexual thoughts but I can’t control myself once I see sexual content. If it’s a popup for an adult site, I have thought before of just closing it, but instead I spend a minute viewing it rather than closing it like i do with other popups. If I see an attractive woman, I keep watching… internet only and this makes me think of watching porn and masturbating. And I do it even though I tell myself that I must not. Anyway I need to defeat my trigger that only comes from the internet and movies. I am dependent on the internet and movies, so I can’t give them up. But if I defeat my triggers, then I won’t watch porn, because I never just decide to watch porn, I always and triggered by sexual content to go view it. It’s terrible, and i can’t stop, been this way for years now. ~Jacob

addicted to porn

Thanks for writing in Jacob. I can totally relate to your question as I know what you are going through. There was a time in my life when I would do the exact same thing with a trigger.

I like to relate a trigger to hitting the passing gear in your car. The next time you merge onto the highway or try to speed up and pass someone, notice what happens when you mash down the gas pedal. Stepping on the gas to pass someone does two things; it revs up the motor and drops the car into a lower gear. The combination of both of these things propels the car forward much faster than if you just gave it more gas.

A trigger will change gears in your mind and push your forward very quickly! This other gear is the one you use for lust which leads to masturbation. How do you avoid dropping into the lust gear?

When you encounter a trigger you must not let yourself switch to the lust gear. That gear is another thought pattern that you have developed over time. You’ve programmed yourself to see an attractive woman, and then you mash the gas pedal until your done taking care of yourself.

Lift off the gas! Once you see an attractive woman, you have a few seconds to decide what your next move is. At least for me it went like this; “oh, wow she looks fine and check out those @li$%&!” “I bet it would be a blast to… man, I wonder if I can find that scenario online..” Then I would be search the net for a porn site. After a while, I noticed that I was giving in to the slightest trigger and taking it all the way to using porn.

After seeing a well-built woman, I had about 3 seconds to decide what my next move was. I bet you have about the same amount of time to either mash down the gas pedal or lift off the gas.

Instead of mindlessly following your urges to mash down the gas, you must consciously put a stop to letting your mind go there. What I would do was get up and take a walk or hit the off button on the TV or computer. Take that thought captive and consider what you were thinking about doing. Get yourself out of that situation and into a new setting. If you make a habit of doing this, it gets easier each time and eventually attractive women will not cause this reaction. The key here is to use that 3 second pause and get your mind onto another subject and leave the room. Changing the subject in your mind is tough, but it must be practiced to win this battle.

Avoiding your triggers is another thing that will help. I only say this because the more often you act out, the deeper that behavior becomes burned into you. It is unrealistic to think avoiding your triggers alone will help, because sooner or later you will run into one and if you haven’t learned how to deal with them you will lose!

Part of getting out of the rut is to stop doing the same things that lead you there in the first place. Stop spending so much time watching movies and surfing the net! You say you are dependent on movies and the internet, but there are many forms of entertainment out there.

One of the things that helped me was to redirect my passion into a hobby. I took up remote controlled cars again like I had as a boy. It was exciting and gratifying to read about the latest technology and take a trip to the hobby shop. Jacob, let me know how these things work for you.

If anyone else has other suggestions for Jacob, please leave a comment below.

Addicted to Porn – Signs of Porn Addiction

Addicted to porn

Addicted to Porn?  Here are a few signs you may have a problem with pornography

Many people want to know –  “How do I tell if  I am addicted to pornography?”   I have compiled a few points for you to consider when you are assessing whether you or someone you love has an addiction to porn.  Some of the answers can only be done personally, but you will be able to place the other person’s behavior into these questions if assessing someone you love.

Addicted to porn

  • You become ‘obsessed’ with it – you are constantly seeking another time to view porn- you plan your days around it.   Has porn use become your number 1 or 2 need in your life?  Do you find yourself looking forward to another session in front of the computer or TV screen?  A porn addict will plan their days and free time around getting alone with pornography.  Anticipation throughout the day will get them through their daily routine.

 

  • Your mind frequently plays back the scenes you watched. Your mind is pre-occupied with sex.  Sex fills most of your thought life.  Do you find yourself daydreaming about sex?  Do you find yourself sexualizing most every situation and turning it into a porn film fantasy?  Do you look every woman up and down to consider what it would be like to have sex with her?

 

  • You cannot control the urges that come.  These urges order you to go get your fix.  It is the greatest need in your life.  Do you get yourself all worked up that you need to go use porn to get your fix?  Do you have urges to use porn that haunt you all day long?

 

  • Logic & safety goes out the window in pursuit of it.  You will take risks to satisfy your need for it.  Do you satisfy your desire for porn with risky behaviors – visiting adult book stores, view porn at work, view porn in public, go to strip clubs? Has the pursuit of you next fix led you to seek more risque forms of porn? Has ‘normal porn’ become boring to you?  Are you into lesbian, fetishes, beastiality, teen, or illegal porn (child porn)?  Are you interested or have you had an affair and considered hooking up with strangers for sex?

This list is not all inclusive, but will lead you in the right direction to consider your level of involvement in pornography.  Just because you can’t identify with all these behaviors doesn’t mean you aren’t addicted.

Some people are more introverted in their addictions and keep it to themselves and think they are in control.  They will not act out as far as risking careers, family, or jail in pursuit of their porn high.

Other people will drift into the extroverted and out of control behaviors.  They are the ones who get into the most perverse forms of porn and will even get involved in affairs and sex with prostitutes.