What Triggers Your Urge For Pornography?

Suggestive ads that exploit women

Regular users and/or addicts of pornography generally have a handfull of triggers that set them off on another binge of pornography use.  Many of you can identify with an event, a state of mind, or the influences that drive us to using porn.  Here are a few items that may trigger your urges:

  • A fight with the wife
  • Boredom
  • Depression
  • The glimpse of an attractive woman
  • Lonliness
  • Anger
  • Free time

Let me share a really BIG one for all of us – suggestive ads –

What is this ad promoting?

What is this ad promoting?

This ad from netflix that features actress Megan Fox really caught my eye.  Here’s why:

  1. She is attractive and the middle of the ad focuses on her breasts. – us men are obviously visually oriented.
  2. She has a look of vulnerability or fear on her face – this triggers the manly need to rescue her.
  3. She is posed in a way that asks you to help her, rescue her, love her.

I have seen this ad off to the side of my Yahoo mail at least 50 times and it has caught my eye everytime.  In the past, I would have focused on this ad and it would have revved me up to the point of search for pornography then acting out.  How do I respond differently now?

Initially I was caught off gaurd with this ad and quickly looked away.  (fleeing)  As I saw it more often I started to analyze what it was about that ad that was so appealing and those details are above.  I did not take the ad into my head and run with it!  This is where we get tripped up.  You have to train yourself to stop the runaway thoughts that lead into acting out.  You need to stop yourself, calm yourself down and move on to another subject.  Don’t even entertain thoughts of sex for a few moments thinking you are just skirting the edge.  You need to estinguish these lustful thoughts right away!  Walk away for 10 minutes, change the channel, call a friend or your accountability partner – Don’t linger.

Many of the triggers that lead us down the road into acting out and using pornography can be counteracted by doing something to oppose that trigger.  If boredom leads you into pornography sessions, you need to keep yourself busy – do something to occupy the time.  If free time is your downfall, don’t allow yourself to have free time while you are alone.  Leave the house and go into a public setting.  Invite a friend over.  Do you see where I am going?  We have to set up a plan (in advance) of what will are going to do when we face a situation that could lead to our downfall.  That action plan is a part of your overall Battle Plan to stop using pornography.  You will then know what to do and excute the action plan to counteract these attacks before they start.

What are your triggers?  What do you find helpfull to counteract everyday situations that could bring your down?  Please comment.

Overcoming Sexual Temptations

overcoming sexual temptations

Overcoming Sexual Temptations – How to overcome and win.

Sexual temptations are common to all people whether man or woman.  We all run into situations where we are tempted in a sexual nature.  These temptations can come in the form of a flirtatious coworker, a tantalizing ad or maybe a photo on the internet.  Sexual temptations appeal to our inner desire to have sex and be close to someone.

overcoming sexual temptationsIs temptation a sin?  No.  Temptations if they are allowed to capture us will lead us into sin, but they are not sin themselves.  A temptation is that hook that can draw us into sin.  A temptation appeals to our lusts and waits for us to take the bait.  A man can see an attractive woman in a revealing top – the temptation.  What does he think after seeing the woman, is what determines whether he takes that temptation that appeals to his lust and turns it into sin.  It would turn into sin if he mentally undresses her.  It would not be sin for him to look another direction and focus his mind on something else.

Temptations appeal to our lusts, or those things we desire which are morally or ethically wrong.  Most all of us are sexually tempted because we have a desire for sex.  That desire is both physical and emotional.  We have desires for things which are wrong. We can lust after another woman or desire to watch a porno.  Temptations appeal to these desires and lure us into satisfying the desire.

Not all desires are wrong.  We all desire to eat because we get hungry.  When we are hungry and see an ad for a cheeseburger, is that cheeseburger temptation?  No.  It is morally alright to eat and the cheeseburger ad may sway you to heading down to your fast food place, but not wrong.

Temptation comes from the lure of our own evil desires as James 1:14 says.  These desires lead to actions.  Sinful actions.  These evil desires are inside of us.  We have the desire to do evil inside of us and temptation wakes us that desire for us to act on.

The key to battling temptation starts with the inside.  We have to defeat those evil desires within us.  Those desires are written onto our ‘hard drive’ and we have to overwrite them.  We can overwrite them with prayer & God’s word.  This is not a one-time deal.  We have to continually overwrite them because they keep coming back.  You need a battle plan.

Pray to God to help you change your evil desires and replace them with desires for pure things.  You need help to counteract all those sinful lusts that have found their way to your heart.  God can help you if you ask.

You also need to overwrite those lusts with the word of God.  Crack your Bible open and find some verses to memorize that counteract your lusts.  If you lust with your eyes, memorize Job 31:1 “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a woman”.  Read your Bible daily to get God’s word written on your heart.  God’s word is more powerful than a two edged sword (Heb 4:12) and has tremendous power to not only save, but destroy the evil desires within you.

Now that you are working on your heart, you need to be aware of where you are tempted and set up a battle plan.  If you lust after women with your eyes, you need to set up a plan for numerous scenarios you may encounter that will be temptations.  For example:  If you are speaking to a woman at work who has a low cut blouse, you decide ahead of time to make eye contact with her or look away when not.  You will decide ahead of time what your action will be and then do it when facing the situation.

In other circumstances you will need to heed the Bible’s recommendation and flee temptation.  If you are on the internet and see tantalizing ad for free porn, log out and get away from the computer!   Flee and don’t let temptation get the best of you.  Take the exit God will provide for you.

These are only a few examples of overcoming sexual temptation.   You can find more help by in my book.

Prayer to overcome sexual temptation:  Dear God, I am under tremendous temptation at the moment to sin against you.  Please give me the strength to walk away from this temptation and focus on what is pure, what is true, what is right and anything that is excellent or praiseworthy.  I do not want to fall into sin to please my flesh.  Allow your Spirit to fill me and work in me right now.  In Jesus’ name Amen.

FREE report to overcome temptation