Introverts and Sex Addiction

By R PikeLeave a Comment

Nov 24 1

introverts and sex addiction

Introverts and Sex Addiction

What goes on inside the head of an introvert regarding sex?

Introvert, Aloof, Space Cadet, Loner, those are some of the words used to describe someone living inside their head. Living inside your head generally labels someone that is generally very circumspect and a deep thinker. They prefer to measure their words before turning them loose. They work out problems and every angle of social situations before acting on them. Sometimes they can spend too much time inside their heads living in a fantasy world and refusing to engage real people.

For me, living inside my head meant lots of time in sexual fantasy. I used my head time to imagine what this girl or that girl would look like and how she would be in bed. I could dream up sexual scenarios that would never happen in real life, for me at least. I was not as tall, muscular or good looking as my friend who seemed could charm any girl.

This time spent in my head caused did much damage to my self-esteem and the way I viewed women, which furthered my awkwardness and social skills. It really was a catch 22.. I was living inside my head because of my self-esteem, awkwardness and introverted personality which caused me to be more that way!

The battles I would fight in my head caused me to be defeated before even approaching a social situation. In my mind, the girl would say no to a date. Even worse she had already pre-judged me and I knew what she was thinking. My boss said no to my request, or my friend had already made plans for Saturday night.. all this before I would even make a move.

I managed to get along despite this, but my life would have been much richer had I not been this way. I would have taken more chances, gone out and socialized more, and generally been a much better person to be around.

Much of my self-defeating introversion was only deepened by pornography. Before pornography, I was not totally confident due to being the fat kid who was picked on in school. Pornography caused me to go deeper into my head. It’s an addiction that takes over much of your thought life. It’s an escape.

I brought all this into my marriage – the pornography and introversion. This was not good for my relationship with my wife. I heard many times ‘why don’t you talk to me’. I could not openly relate to my wife the feelings, thoughts and scenarios in my head. How could I? They were shameful.

Breaking the pornography addiction’s hold on me did a lot to move me away from this living in my head. I started to feel normal, engaged and present! Living in the fantasy world in my head was causing me to be distant and cold. I only realized this later after coming out of this ‘coma’ I had been in for years.

I wish I could say that I don’t fantasize about women sexually anymore. Sometimes I catch myself doing this and bring myself back to live in the present. This is something you have to learn to do. It takes lots of practice and awareness.

I don’t live my life out in my head anymore. That doesn’t mean I don’t do any planning or dreaming. It just means that I am not paralyzed by fear, and destructive thoughts. I live and let live… enjoy the here and now. Give thanks for all that I am blessed with.

My Husband’s a porn addict

By R PikeLeave a Comment

Oct 19 1

Her Husband is a porn addict

My Husband’s a porn addict

Pornography usage is often reffered to as an ‘affair of the mind’. This is because what happens goes on in his head and there is no physical contact with another person. Some people also believe that pornography usage has little to no effect on the user or the user’s spouse. After all, those images are not real, it’s all a fantasy world, right?

Whether you are a struggling spouse of a pornography addict or you are the one who is regularly using pornography you need to read the book I just read. My Husband’s a Porn Addict: A wife’s tormenting journey through her husband’s addiction. Erin Hugar writes about her side of his pornography addiction.

Erin lets you inside the mind and supressed feelings of a wife who tries to come to terms with her husband’s addiction. You can literally feel her pain as she pours out the raw emotion and thoughts into the pages of this book. Me, being a man, it was hard to see the hurt and betrayal that she feels when I can identify with the situation he was in. I did the same things to my own wife! Sobering. Shameful.

Erin’s writing style is l ight and easy to read, even a bit raw as the language she uses conveys her hurt. Don’t pass this one up. It’s available for the Kindle for only $2.99. Even if you don’t own a Kindle, get it anyway and read it on the PC viewer like I did. Click the picture above.

After the read, leave your comments below. I would love to hear what your impressions of this book were to.

Review of Covenant Eyes Android Accountability Software

By R PikeLeave a Comment

Aug 20 1

Accountability Android

Covenant Eyes Android - Accountability has come to Android devices!

I have been a long time covenant eyes customer and have it installed on my home computers. I am pleased with the way it works to with the filter and accountability. In order to get the app for the android, you have to be a current PC installed customer. The app is free if you are an existing customer.

Covenant eyes has had their android accountability software out for a while and I have purposely waited to test it. In all applications there is a period to work out the bugs and I didn’t want to download it until they were fixed. Based on the reviews, it seemed to be working fine.

The download can be done straight from the Google Play application or from your PC when logged into Google Play. Once installed you sign into the app using your established credentials. When the application is running the only noticeable sign that it is doing anything is the ever present covenant eyes ‘all seeing eye’ in the upper left notifications area.

During my testing period I did not notice any slowness in phone response or any battery drain as some folks claimed to experience. My phone was just as fast and battery life was just the same. I am not a big user of my phone for surfing the web and apps as some people are, just in case it makes a difference.

A proper understanding of what this software does is the first step in any good test. This software does not block any websites from being accessed; only records what sites are visited and ranks them according to the covenant eyes rating system. Knowing this, I went to Google and performed a few searches using inappropriate terms. Next, I opened up the apps that were on my phone and used them. I also logged out of the application and then logged back in.

Next I logged into my covenant eyes dashboard to run a report. I first ran the detailed report and was quick to pick out which searches and sites were visited on my android. I think the only reason I quickly picked out these was because it was right there on the first page, plus there I knew what I was looking for. An accountability partner may not have such an easy job using this report.

My next step was to run the accountability report. Right away under the search terms section I noticed those that I had just put through the search engine. These terms are grouped in with all the other terms that have been searched on for that time period, so there is no way to distinguish who did the searches or from what device (PC or computer) they came from. I then paged down the report past the blocked sites section since this app does not block sites and came to the high ratings per site. The high ratings section showed a site I quickly hit on my android. The last section on the report is the android apps section. This shows what app was used on your phone, the possible rating of the app and how much time spent on the app. It logged how much time I spent texting, looking at mail, and reading the bible.

Here is my opinion of the covenant eyes accountability app for Android. The application does what it should and records the sites, searches and apps used on your android device. All the history is available in the accountability report for your partner to review. This will work well if you have a covenant eyes account dedicated only to the person needing accountability for devices they solely use. There is no way to tell from what device the log entries are coming from. Covenant eyes needs to somehow get the info to log the device name and user account to go along with the site for the log.

My only reservation about this app is that it allows the user to log in and log out at will. A user could log out of the app to surf at will then log back in later to register usage on the accountability report. What should be done if they can’t implement the uninstall password would be to record every log out and log in time on the accountability report. This would provide better assurance that the app was active and being used.

If you are searching for an accountability app for your android device this will do the job, but I don’t like the logging in and out without recording it. Once this is fixed I can wholeheartedly endorse this app.

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Vanity of Life in the Flesh

By R PikeLeave a Comment

Aug 14 0

walk according to the spirit

Vanity of Life in the Flesh

When you sit down and ponder life in this fleshly body you really realize how vain much of what we do is. We spend so much time to make our bodies attractive. Women put on jewelry, apply makeup, spray on perfume and carefully dress to look good. Men will work out, shave, and try to regrow hair all to keep up their appearance. Cosmetic surgery is more widely used than ever. We all just try to look attractive and maintain youthful appearances.

Much of our time is also spent in satisfying and nurturing our flesh. Our bodies need sleep to rebuild and reset every day. We need to eat and drink to keep our bodies in motion and functioning. Sleeping and eating take up a lot of time every day. We also do other things that feed or satisfy our flesh, like sex, drugs, and alcohol, but are not necessary for sustaining our life.

If you add all these activities up and then think about how we have to work to provide these things that focus around these bodies of ours, it all seems in vain. We have an expiration date the day we are born. If we center our lives on these fleshly bodies of ours, doesn’t it seem a waste of time? We primp, workout, eat, shelter and gratify these bodies only to put them into a grave to rot! If we live our lives centered on our own flesh our lives are wasted!

These fleshly bodies transport a spirit that will live on! What we do in our flesh determines how we will spend eternity in our spirit. With all this in mind, do we continue to live for today or for eternity? Do we continue to center our lives on the body – the maintenance, dress, and satisfying of it? No! How vain that is!

We should live with eternity in mind. The rewards and consequences that come in eternity are decided here and now. Instead of being so self-centered, we should look to please God. Do things for others. Focus our mind and sight on Jesus. Live the life that is led by the Spirit.

These bodies are only jars of clay. In other words, we are fragile and made of dirt. Our body is temporary. The jar is not what is valuable, what is inside is. What is inside will live on forever. The jar can be shattered and crumble.

The next time you turn to pornography and masturbation think: What impact will this have on my body and spirit? Is this activity building up my body or spirit? What will be the consequences to my body and spirit if I do this? What about if I don’t do this? Could this time be invested in something of value?

Differing Views on Pornography

By R PikeLeave a Comment

Jul 7 3

Her views are different

Differing views on pornography

How she feels about him watching it and his perspective

Here is an interesting video I found on YouTube where a couple discusses why a man wants to watch pornography. You can get a man and woman’s point of view on a husband watching pornography.

While I don’t agree totally with all that is said, I think you will find it interesting and thought provoking.

How to confirm your husband watching Porn on the net

By R PikeLeave a Comment

Jun 12 38

husband watching porn

Is Your Husband Watching Porn on the net?

Sorry guys, but I am going to give up some tactics for your wives to use to track your internet usage. If you have been viewing pornography, then stop and you will have nothing to worry about. Otherwise, continue at your own risk and worry that she might read this site and discover your secrets.

Ladies, you don’t have to be super tech savvy to deploy some of these tactics to discover your husband’s use of pornography on the internet. You will have to know your way around the computer a bit. First off, you need access the computer you think he is using to do this. If he has his own laptop or desktop you will need about 45 minutes to an hour to check out the computer. I won’t get into privacy issues here, so you need to decide that on your own.

husband watching porn

There is more than one way to catch your husband watching porn

Once you have his computer go straight to the cookies, forget the internet history. Chances are his browser automatically deletes that when shut down, but cookies are deleted manually. Check the cookies out for obvious websites and access dates. If you find nothing here now you will have to try one of these two solutions that will cost you a few bucks, but get you the answers you need.

The first solution uses a program to scan all the image files on the computer hard drive. You will see all the images that the internet browser has loaded up even if he has deleted them. This program takes some time to do its job, but you should know if any pornographic images have been loaded up on that computer. It comes preloaded on a USB stick drive. You should get a hold of his computer and insert the USB drive in and run the program. The program is called Discover it. Also, I have heard success with the device: KJB Security PC401 Spy Cobra PC Monitoring Software Deluxe. This program is no longer available. The best thing you can do is to open windows or file explorer and do an open search for all image files. You will have to wade through many images, most of which will be nothing to look at, but you may be able to find an pornographic images that were loaded through an internet browser.

The next solution would be to install a program on his computer or smart phone, that will run undetected in the background. This program is not an internet filter, but will monitor the internet sites he visits. You can set the program up to either email or text you when he visits a pornographic site. You will get the notice within a minute of the visit and you will then know what site was visited. This program is called Savii accountability and I have found it to be very accurate with timely notification. I have edited this post because Savii is no longer available. I do however recommend using a software called Covenant Eyes. Covenant Eyes can be installed on any computer and smart phone (iPhone or Android). What it does is monitor the internet sites that are visited and ranks them based on a rating system created by Covenant eyes. You will automatically receive an email report weekly or you can run a report on demand on the covenant eyes website. If he does any internet searches for porn or visits a porn site, covenant eyes will log those and preserve them for your review, even if he is good at managing his internet tracks. Read more on the covenant eyes website: Covenant Eyes . Now, he will eventually have to know that you want to install thet se programs unless you are extremely sneaky. One point I want to make is that if he has anything that runs ios (iphone, ipad, ipod) you will only be able to capture internet browsing if he uses the Covenant Eyes browser. Apple locks down all browsers and apps from third party software, so the Covenant Eyes program cannot view any internet traffic from apps other than the CE browser on IOS devices. Android works differently and you can see all the browsers and apps that Covenant Eyes can monitor the traffic from here: Covenant Eyes for Android

I am sure there are many other ways to discover pornography usage on a particular computer, but I will recommend only these methods because I have tried them out myself and can vouch for their effectiveness.

Has your life been impacted by Porn? If you are the wife of a porn user, I need to hear from you. I am compiling stories for a book and I want to hear your story. Help others through your story! Please get in contact with me here: Contact me now Free copies/benefits available to those who contribute.

Another point I want to make to those who decide to go through this process is to have a plan before you start. Get your resources lined up ahead of time before you go through his computer and install anything. Decide what you are going to do with the data once you get it. If you don’t have a plan and follow through with your findings, then don’t attempt it.

porn and your husband

Click here to download this free resource from Covenant Eyes.

Here are some questions to ask yourself before you get going. How will you get access to his computer without drawing attention? What will you say to him regarding the way you found out about his usage? Will you reveal how you found out? Can you bring up the subject matter without accusations & highly charged emotions? Are you willing to work through this with him and walk with him instead of telling him to fix himself with an ultimatum?

GET this excellent resource from Covenant Eyes ——————————->

I wish you the best of luck while doing your recon work.

Related articles:

Evidence of her Husband’s porn stash

Four reasons why your husband watches internet porn

Is watching pornography cheating? – using pornography compared to cheating or adultery

Signs that someone is addicted to porn.

His Porn Addiction - A wife’s perspective on his dirty habit

Growing up with Porn

By R PikeLeave a Comment

Jun 12 2

is porn the new normal

Growing up with Porn

Teenagers today grow up with pornography as normal part of life

Recently it seems that there are many articles out there about teenagers addicted to pornography. It always gets me thinking about what these kids believe to be truth and what is normal in regards to porn and sex.

Kids growing up now know the following to be true and normal:

Pornography is everywhere
Pornography is a normal way to learn about sex
Pornography is acceptable to use when anytime you get sexual urges
Women know that everyone uses porn and they are OK with it
Women can satisfy their man by acting like a porn star
Frequent pornography use is normal and there are no side effect

It is sad really. Many kids today have parents that buy into the progressive thinking of today and don’t monitor what their kids do on the internet. Pornography is freedom of speech to them and even healthy for them to use. We can’t censor what our kids consume they say, kids have their rights you know.

How very destructive this is for them! These kids will grow up to be adults who can’t relate intimately with one another. They will be selfish seeking their own gratification and needs instead of trying to serve their mate. Their libidos will be burned out from countless images and climaxes burned into their memories. Sexual intimacy will not be enjoyed like it was meant to be.

With this new normalcy, will they even realize the damage it has done? Will the drug industry come out with new drugs to bring back burned out libidos and sexual dysfunction? How much worse could they slide morally?

Other articles you may like:

Why pornography is addictive

The side effects of using pornography

Saavi Accountability Software Review

By R PikeLeave a Comment

May 15 1

internet accountability software

Update: Saavi Accountability was recently acquired by Covenant Eyes, Inc. please refer to my review of Covenant eyes

Occasionally I will be asked to review a new tool for accountability, but mostly I find them on my own. In this case, I was approached by the CEO of Saavi to take a look at their accountability software. I was kind of hesitant to present another product to my readers, but now I feel it can’t hurt to let you know of another tool.

Accountability software is meant to record and report your online activity to an accountability partner. Knowing that someone has access to your website visits, it helps you to stay away from whatever it is that you struggle with. Saavi Accountability software can be set up to notify your accountability partner when you hit on a site that deals in Gambling, Games, Hate, Sexually Explicit, or Violence. These are the general categories that will generate an email or text message to your partner.

Saavi software can also alert your accountability partner to certain applications such as file sharing, games or VOIP. You can also set the software to catch keyword phrases if you have problems with vices such as drinking or drugs.

I installed the software on a laptop computer then configured the standards online. I also input my cell number and email account for notification, but these will be assigned to your accountability partner. Now it was time to test the software.

My first test was to go to Google to do a few searches. My first search was for ‘porn’. Within a minute I received a text message stating that the named computer had looked at google.com which contained the flagged keyword ‘porn’. Wow, that was quick! I also received an email right behind the text message. To prevent any temptations, I limited the rest of my test to normal usage.

I checked my email, logged into this site, and did some internet searches. I received 3 more text messages. The software flagged pornography and porn. I guess my own website can trigger an alert, but the good thing is you can see the context of which the word was found. In my alerts, I saw that my email triggered the word and also this website. Nothing to be concerned about here.

So I went back to Saavi’s online dashboard and looked at the reports. The reports are top notch! You see the email alerts and text alerts that were sent. You can also see what videos were watched and what searches were performed and where. If your computer has multiple users set up you can see which user watched the videos, did the searching or visited questionable sites.

One thing I must mention is that you need to configure the standards along with your accountability partner. I found that the MSN homepage has the word ‘porn’ embedded in it somewhere and I would get an alert every time someone in my house hit the MSN homepage. There is a simple fix to work out these types of bugs on the control panel by either rating the site safe or adding the site to your do not scan list.

In conclusion, I think Saavi Accountability software is very good if you want to be accountable for your internet activity in regards to pornography addiction. The best part of the software is the instant alerts to your accountability partner to get instant help in time of temptation. The reporting is simple and provides enough information to create discussions however often you and your partner get together. The only sticky part of Saavi is working out the bugs like I had to with the MSN homepage, but that is minor all things considered.

I can whole heartily recommend Saavi Accountability Software because it simply works well. You can purchase Saavi and download it instantly by going to SaaviAccountability.com. Please mention Battleplan in the promotion code box to help support my website. Thank you.

Related Articles:

Review of Covenant Eyes Accountability Software

Is Pornography Addiction New?

By R PikeLeave a Comment

Apr 23 1

is porn addiction new

Is Pornography Addiction New?

Most of the headlines I read whether in published article or blog post seem to claim that pornography is a new addiction. This new discovery has come to light and many addiction treatment centers and programs are established daily.

I applaud the press that it is finally getting. Addicts can finally know they are not alone in this fight. Parents are more aware of the dangers of Pornography and an unfiltered internet connection. The faith community is finally acknowledging that their own members are involved. Resources that help diagnose and treat are easier to find.

Pornography addiction is not new, it is just becoming more widespread. The ease of accessibility had caused it to grow exponentially. Early in my own addiction, the internet didn’t exist. I fed my own addiction with printed material and VHS cassettes. My addiction really increased it’s hold on me when the internet came into existence.

So while the internet has increased the numbers of addicts, It has also brought tons more information and resources for healing as well. Talk about a double edged sword!

Is the internet all to blame? No. This addiction has been around way before the internet. The internet has just increased the speed at which information is published. It even changes the culture at a faster rate as well. It’s like a quote I’ve heard - “A lie is halfway around the world before truth even gets his boots on.”

Truth is finally catching up!

Human trafficking and pornography - fueled by demand for Pornography

By R PikeLeave a Comment

Feb 15 1

Human Trafficking and Pornography

Human Trafficking and Pornography - How pornography fuels the demand for human sex slaves

My brother showed me this video today. It is a sad story about a 13 year old named Constance. She was sold to a pornographer for $6. He films her and makes sells the videos to guys who consume porn. If there was no money to be made he wouldn’t do it. We sit back behind out computer and enjoy these images, but the truth is this girl was not 18 as the website claimed and she was forced into performing. Not necessarily the lie we believe that she is an 18 year old nymphomaniac. Watching pornography creates demand. We are a part of the crime and victimization.

Human trafficking for Pornography or Sex - Is happening here in the United States!

The HALT Acronym – Use it to gauge your susceptibility to temptation

By R PikeLeave a Comment

Feb 15 1

Use the HALT Acronym to see how easy a target you are for temptation

The other day at a church breakfast, one of the guys shared something he had learned by listening to a speaker at a recent conference. It is very good and resonated with me so I thought I would share it with you.

There are times in everyone’s lives when we become weak and easily drawn in by temptation. Using the H.A.L.T. acronym we can easily identify and counteract, making temptation a little harder to give into.

Hunger – When you are hungry, you turn into a predator looking for something to consume. Think back to the times when you were so hungry that you stuffed your face with whatever was readily available with no regard to nutritional value or calories. Whether you raided the fridge or pulled into the fast food drive through, consequences went out the window to satisfy your need.

Anger – Reactions to anger often include giving into temptation. Indulging in drugs, alcohol, sex, and pornography to dull these feelings are very common.

Loneliness – When you get lonely watch out. This is my greatest pull of temptation. Instead of seeking company or finding a noble activity, we usually seek to make ourselves feel ‘better’ by indulging in illicit behavior.

Tired – If you work hard and are tired often, the pull of temptation is great. It’s almost as if we ‘reward’ ourselves for the hard work by giving into temptation. We justify our deservedness when our defenses are weak.

Be careful if you are experiencing any of these symptoms because temptation will come knocking. This reminds me of the scripture when Jesus went to the desert for 40 days of fasting and praying. The devil came out to the desert to tempt him when he was hungry, lonely, and tired. The devil took advantage of this time of weakness to put Jesus to the test.

The devil is no dummy. He waited till Jesus got weary then came to offer him the world all in exchange for a little bit of sin. Jesus was very hungry, tired and was all by himself praying to the Father in preparation for his ministry. A weakened Jesus would be much easier to break than a Jesus who was physically and mentally sharp!

The devil turns up the heat on us during times of weakness too! We need to counteract these times of weakness and go pray for the strength of the Lord! Eat, seek reconciliation, connect with a friend and get some sleep to, but don’t forget to ask the Lord for help. He was tested in every way that we are and is familiar with our human frailties. He is our intermediary with the Father. Is that not great?!